Is Titanic 3D really the perfect date movie?
Titanic
has a great romance at its heart, Mark argues, but even the 3D version
won't leave you with a sense that 'love conquers all'...
“We're doing it because we believe there's a generation of moviegoers who have never seen Titanic
on the big screen” said producer Jon Landau, of the movie's upcoming 3D
re-release. “There are people who'll go and see this movie now who were
conceived the night their parents saw the movie!”
Where, except on a studio spreadsheet, would that sound anything other than creepy? I'm sure that 20th Century Fox and Paramount are delighted with a demographic breakdown that shows how the viewers who gave them $1.8 billion in cinemas worldwide then went home and shagged new viewers into existence, apparently purely to earn them more money 15 years down the line, but does that strike you as romantic?
First and foremost, before we really get into any of this, I should say that I don't dislike Titanic. It tells a likeable, if simplistic romance within a spectacular and largely tasteful re-telling of one of the biggest naval disasters in history. It did everything that Michael Bay completely failed to do with Pearl Harbor, four years later.
It would be extremely easy to simplify James Cameron's terrific instincts about his audience down to commercial pandering, but the director genuinely knows how to appeal to more than one type of moviegoer at once, and that is an underrated skill. Titanic may have gone down in the annals of recent film history as something of a chick flick, but it still has ground-breaking special effects and action sequences.
Romantic films made since tend to exclude men as much as everything
else excludes women, and we're stuck in an industrial rut, ruled over by
teenage boys, until some sort of balance is discovered. But I digress,
because the problem is that re-releasing Titanic in 3D is purely a commercial move. If it were a creative move, the film would not also be set for a 2D release.
You're also going to see the film being marketed as a date movie, as in the strangely perverse PR spiel quoted above. So, as it's Valentine's Day, let's think ahead a couple of months and imagine going on a date to see Titanic 3D. I'll say in advance that I've never taken a date to see a 3D movie, so I'm unsure of the etiquette, but here's the main problem as I see it.
You're watching the film. The dramatic irony of the doomed ship is palpable. The women all find Leonardo DiCaprio as sexy as ever, and Kate Winslet looks even hotter than any of the men remembered. Let's say that the romance reaches a fever pitch with that steamy scene below deck, in the car. The score soars. Rose's hand touches the window. You turn to your sweetheart...
… and you probably start laughing your arse off, because you're both wearing 3D glasses. Maybe it's immature to say, and everyone thinks their beloved looks just as sexy in 3D glasses as not, but it's patently absurd to imagine anyone hugging with their baby in the back-row of the balcony while their Real-D glasses clack off each other. Tell me if I'm wrong, but I submit that 3D is just as detrimental to a date movie as it is to-- well, any other movie, really.
Although I like that romance between Jack and Rose, I'd similarly
find it difficult to believe that the deaths of thousands of other
working class people don't somewhat overshadow the tragic romance
between the leads. Jack and Rose's love is brief, sure, but only as
brief as a three hour movie can be, and sitting in the dark for three
hours, not talking to one another and wearing 3D glasses to watch a
massive disaster being re-enacted is not my idea of showing a lady a
good time.
Obviously, some of these problems apply to the 2D version too, but if you're not wearing plastic glasses, at least your not-exactly-having-a-good-time looks slightly less ridiculous. As I've said, Titanic is a far better romantic movie than one-sided demographic films, i.e. romcoms and other such Katherine Heigl-starring bunkum, or films that try to appeal to both genders, but fail, i.e. Twilight and its assorted knock-offs, but I don't think that good romance always equates to being a good date movie.
To list great films made before and since Titanic, I wouldn't consider Casablanca, Brief Encounter or (500) Days of Summer to be good date movies, especially not if they were in 3D. This is because to some extent, they all portray romance as fleeting. Should date movies, on today-- the manufactured holiday of love-- of all days, be about a less profound and more bubbly kind of love, than about the kind of love that is so deep that it can't possibly last?
Without getting too deep, it remains to say that if you and your significant other are mutually aroused by 3D glasses, the deaths of working class passengers on the Titanic, and the involuntary thought of your own parents making love after watching this very same movie, then you belong together. Hell, you might as well live on a desert island together, 'cos you're too perfect for each other. Happy Valentine's Day!
By Mark Harrison
Where, except on a studio spreadsheet, would that sound anything other than creepy? I'm sure that 20th Century Fox and Paramount are delighted with a demographic breakdown that shows how the viewers who gave them $1.8 billion in cinemas worldwide then went home and shagged new viewers into existence, apparently purely to earn them more money 15 years down the line, but does that strike you as romantic?
First and foremost, before we really get into any of this, I should say that I don't dislike Titanic. It tells a likeable, if simplistic romance within a spectacular and largely tasteful re-telling of one of the biggest naval disasters in history. It did everything that Michael Bay completely failed to do with Pearl Harbor, four years later.
It would be extremely easy to simplify James Cameron's terrific instincts about his audience down to commercial pandering, but the director genuinely knows how to appeal to more than one type of moviegoer at once, and that is an underrated skill. Titanic may have gone down in the annals of recent film history as something of a chick flick, but it still has ground-breaking special effects and action sequences.
You're also going to see the film being marketed as a date movie, as in the strangely perverse PR spiel quoted above. So, as it's Valentine's Day, let's think ahead a couple of months and imagine going on a date to see Titanic 3D. I'll say in advance that I've never taken a date to see a 3D movie, so I'm unsure of the etiquette, but here's the main problem as I see it.
You're watching the film. The dramatic irony of the doomed ship is palpable. The women all find Leonardo DiCaprio as sexy as ever, and Kate Winslet looks even hotter than any of the men remembered. Let's say that the romance reaches a fever pitch with that steamy scene below deck, in the car. The score soars. Rose's hand touches the window. You turn to your sweetheart...
… and you probably start laughing your arse off, because you're both wearing 3D glasses. Maybe it's immature to say, and everyone thinks their beloved looks just as sexy in 3D glasses as not, but it's patently absurd to imagine anyone hugging with their baby in the back-row of the balcony while their Real-D glasses clack off each other. Tell me if I'm wrong, but I submit that 3D is just as detrimental to a date movie as it is to-- well, any other movie, really.
Obviously, some of these problems apply to the 2D version too, but if you're not wearing plastic glasses, at least your not-exactly-having-a-good-time looks slightly less ridiculous. As I've said, Titanic is a far better romantic movie than one-sided demographic films, i.e. romcoms and other such Katherine Heigl-starring bunkum, or films that try to appeal to both genders, but fail, i.e. Twilight and its assorted knock-offs, but I don't think that good romance always equates to being a good date movie.
To list great films made before and since Titanic, I wouldn't consider Casablanca, Brief Encounter or (500) Days of Summer to be good date movies, especially not if they were in 3D. This is because to some extent, they all portray romance as fleeting. Should date movies, on today-- the manufactured holiday of love-- of all days, be about a less profound and more bubbly kind of love, than about the kind of love that is so deep that it can't possibly last?
Without getting too deep, it remains to say that if you and your significant other are mutually aroused by 3D glasses, the deaths of working class passengers on the Titanic, and the involuntary thought of your own parents making love after watching this very same movie, then you belong together. Hell, you might as well live on a desert island together, 'cos you're too perfect for each other. Happy Valentine's Day!
By Mark Harrison
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